15/5/17

do you know that 49% of Syrian children in refugee camps have considered suicide? do you know that we are headed toward catastrophic climate change?

the world is a genuinely nightmarish place. there is ISIS and President Trump and yesterday evening I got two Whatsapp messages from my mother. the one informed me about water restrictions and the other warned me about about the violence my body brings. there are places in this country, unlawned, where there are no taps, there are places in this country where there are no safe spaces. everything hurts and it's getting worse all the time.

and even in our second circle the problems become more complex, they seem more unsolvable, and no one is exactly certain of what they deserve. it feels ostrich to try and remember the good things, but otherwise what is there to live for? we might as well kool-aid. we might as well not imagine a better world, pretend we can't afford a meal for the homeless guy outside Big Momma's. that's sadness' trick, you know. it makes you forget everything else. it leaves no space for hope, for love, for amazing dinners of chicken curry and fried spinach and pap at tiny restaurants in Obs. sadness obliterates the whole sky. so i'm trying to remember the blue. and green tea with just the right amount of sugar, and birdsong and mid-day breaks, my Politics research essay and memes. and being with you and you, the whole of you; all the things that make it worthwhile.